Why Do I Do This To Myself?

October 12th 2011

Why Do I Do This To Myself?

The cycle. The vicious cycle of eating poor, drinking alcohol, and not working out. I’ve heard the phrase suicide by food. I don’t like to use that term but sometimes it fits. Why do we slowly kill ourselves with food? Over eating, eating poorly, drinking too much. Most people have a busy life and work some type of job whether it is in or out of the home. Lets play out a typical week. (without kids, working an 8 to 5, M-F job)

This could be anyone. Most of this used to be me. See where you fit. Decide if you want to change. If you put your week down on paper would it look better or worse?

I get up for work between 5am and 6am. I look at my workout clothes that I placed there the night before and wonder what the hell was I thinking? I’m not working out. I wake up dog tired after hitting the snooze a few times. Work out? No way. I needed every drop of that sleep. I must have tons of coffee to wake me up. I slept in too much so I need to run to a drive thru and get a mc-something and eat it on the way in to work or eat it at my desk while I get my day going. I’m so tired I could sleep at my desk. All I want to do is go back home and sleep. I didn’t have time to pack my lunch and I didn’t have anything at my house worth packing for lunch anyway. I’m too behind on my work so I ask the person taking lunch orders to get me a foot long and chips and a diet coke. I must get a diet coke at lunch to keep me going because coffee at lunch just sounds weird. I can’t drink regular coke because I’m trying to cut calories. I stare out of the window and watch others laughing, smiling and taking a walk at lunch. What is wrong with those people? When do they eat? I wouldn’t want to work out at lunch. I don’t want to get sweaty and work a few more hours. Yuck. I go into a food coma at my desk after powering through the big foot long. Eating this sandwich feels like heaven and it takes my mind off of the job I hate. I save some of my chips for later and snack on them and realize I’m thirsty. I dig through my desk drawer to see if I have change for the vending machine. Just enough to get another diet coke and maybe even a small candy bar. I have to have dessert and chocolate will do just the trick. It will help me get out of my afternoon lull. Awesome, it is 5’oclock. I’m out of here. The gym? What a joke. I’m tired, I’m hungry and I’m going home. Hopefully my spouse will fix dinner but I doubt it. Nothing defrosted. I forgot to take chicken out of the fridge this morning so now I have to defrost it and get dinner started. Forget it. I’m tired. I’d rather just order a pizza and sit and watch TV. What’s on tonight? What’s on the DVR that I missed? I’m going to get online and answer a few emails and check facebook, take a bath and head to bed.

Tired, argue with the snooze again but this time I get up and actually have cereal for breakfast. Coffee and cereal. I don’t workout because that cuts into my sleep time. My back hurts and I have a head ache. I pop a pill to feel better. Get to work and don’t have as many meetings so I have time to leave for lunch today. We all decide to try that new burger place that just opened up. I get what everyone else gets, a combo meal. Burger, fries and a diet coke. Ketchup? Yes please and tons of it. Return to work to enter my food coma. Count the minutes until 5 o’clock. Bolt out the door and head home. Already thinking of dinner. What should we do? I forgot to pull the chicken out of the freezer again so it looks like I’m going to call in something. I had a big burger for lunch so I’ll stop at Boston Market and get salads and chicken. Get home around 6 due to traffic and all I want to do is sit down and veg out. What’s on TV tonight?

I feel terrible. I don’t want to get up and go to work. I wish I had some fresh lunch meat so I could pack my lunch and eat healthier and save money. I can’t continue to spend $6 a day on breakfast, $10 on lunch and $25 on dinner all in the name of saving time. I’m wasting money! I’m packing my lunch today no matter what. I make a tuna sandwich, pack some chips and a yogurt. I make my own coffee at home and head to work. I hate my job. I hate this place. Is it 5 o’clock yet? Can I go home? Is it lunchtime yet? This tuna sandwich doesn’t sound good now. I’m not eating it. I’m going to go out to Olive Garden and have soup and salad. I’ll eat the chips around 3 or on the way home so I don’t die on the way home of starvation. Dinner? I remembered to pull the chicken out but I don’t want to cook. I don’t want to dirty the kitchen. I’m tired of cleaning dishes. Lets go out to eat. It is hump day. We head out to eat Mexican food. Chips and salsa here I come and a beer. I need to chill.

Get up happy. It is Thursday. One more day and it is Friday. I make breakfast and feel decent. Only order a ½ sub at lunch and go for water instead of diet coke. I need to hydrate for happy hour tonight. Thursday is $1.00 drinks at the place we love. Stay way too late and drink way too much.

Hung over. Barely make it to work on time. Eat bagels at my desk until I come back to life. Have a giant greasy burger for lunch. It’s Friday and I have plans tonight. It is date night. We are seeing a movie. Dinner and a movie. Wine, steak, bread baskets, and whatever else I want. I’ve worked hard all week. I deserve it.

Sleep in, get up and head to the gym for a workout. Struggle through it and complain the entire time. Go home feeling awesome that I actually sweat. Run errands, do stuff around the house, grocery shop. Get ready for the party Saturday night. Stand in front of the closet crying because nothing fits. Try on 10 different outfits and yell out “I’m NOT going, I have nothing to wear.” Cry a little and wonder why I can’t just workout and eat better. Meeting friends downtown at that place we love so I have to get that thing I love. Drink way too much wine and decide I must eat something to soak up the alcohol before I go to bed so I’m not too hung over in the morning.

Hung over, stomach hurts and too tired to do anything at all. Feeling depressed that I have to go into that job I hate so I just sit and snack on food all day because I’m bored. Tomorrow I will get up and workout. I’m going to get my stuff ready and set my alarm. I will do it this time.

Repeat over and over until you can’t take it anymore.

So why do we do it? Why do you do it? Why don’t you eat better? Why don’t you plan better? Why don’t you treat yourself better? Why do you keep repeating the same week over and over and over and wonder why you are overweight or unhealthy and tired? Because we are afraid of change. We are afraid of pain.

Suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

Suffer the pain of discipline or the pain of regret.

If you always do what you’ve always done then you will always get what you’ve always got. Do something different and see what happens. Get out of the food coma. Push yourself out of the tired zone and challenge yourself to get into a different zone.

All it takes is a little change. Just one little change that you repeat every day.

If you are ready to make a change let me know. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I know. I now have the tools for success. I am success. You can be too.

This is a story of a coach that decided to change her story. She decided to do something different than the same thing over and over. If she can do it, you can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. Anyone can do it.

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