March 19th 2012

Scatter Brained
Over the moon with excitement about this upcoming trip to the Bahamas. I have to perform a brain dump.
I spent most of my adult life insecure about myself. The way I looked, the way I felt, and in my abilities to do anything. I was afraid to try. I was afraid to fail. I was afraid. Even when I was at my lowest weight ever I was still critical of myself. I needed a flatter stomach. I needed to be a smaller size. I never looked at myself and said nice things. I would look at other people that looked better than I did and say mean things about them and about myself. She is too skinny. Her hair is ugly. Her fake boobs look fake. Her make-up is terrible. I’m fat, my stomach is big, I have stretch marks, my hair is thin, I’m too out of shape to do that and more.

I owe my success to many things. Weight watchers, Beachbody, a long list of personal development audio. Most of all I owe my success to myself. I finally flipped the switch. I finally turned the corner in my brain to appreciate my journey and not strive for the destination.
At the end of 2010 I decided to become a Beachbody coach for many reasons. The accountability was huge for me. How can I be a coach if I’m not walking the walk? I became a product of the product and pushed toward goals I never thought would happen.

I went bathing suit shopping recently. Normally, I’d want to bash myself in the head after it was over. Or I just wouldn’t go. I would avoid it like the plague. I would be depressed for the entire day and cry. I would ask “why can’t I just stay motivated? I’m like this because I can’t stop shoving food into my mouth. I’m like this because I can’t seem to workout consistently. Why can everyone else do this but me?” This time it was totally different.
My body is not 100% where I want it. I’m not at my goal. But I don’t care. My mind is at my goal and my body just has to follow. We are heading to the Bahamas in 2 days. We are going to be on the beach with tons of other Beachbody people. Many of them have super rocking bodies. I do not feel self-conscious one bit. Well, maybe a little. I feel so awesome that no one can take this excitement away. To be 40 and finally comfortable in my own skin is worth it.
If you really want to change you can. If you want to rock a swim suit you can. If you want to love yourself instead of saying “I’ll be happy when I lost X pounds” you can. Anything is possible.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be confident enough to post a picture of myself in a bikini. I was the person that always had a towel wrapped around my waist. Well here it is. I’m ready for the Bahamas.

Ready for the Bahamas

If I can do it, you can do it.

You know what else I’m ready to do? I’m ready to help you. I care. I’m ready to help you get to where you love yourself. Lets do it together. I’m at my best when I’m giving. I’m at my best when I’m sharing. I want you to be at your best.

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